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An extra beer can chicken on the grill is worth at least two more BYOB guest!

HE is The Most Interesting Grill Master in the WORLD!
His grill never requires brushing.
No one asks him any of those “If a train” questions. Ever. He knows all the answers.
HE gave the letters “E” “V” and “O” to a personal friend, because they belonged to him.

The rhythm of his pulled-pork being pulled is the main three chords of every Bob Marley song.

His beard never smells like the smoke from his grill.

When HE raises the lid on HIS grill, the smoke/steam lays down by the food until he is done checking.

His digital thermometer is 100% accurate without ever being inserted into meat. Batteries are never required.

HE teaches “planked” fish to “school” around the fire, for even cooking.

HIS propane tank has never ran out. Ever. Not once.

HIS coal beds are so perfect, science claims they can turn lead to gold.

Flying pest form a 100yd. protective perimeter around his grill.

Scientists search his drip receiver for the answer to the common cold and male pattern baldness.

His wood stops burning at the moment of “perfect ring attainment”.

Eastern holy men harvest his ash grate, the healing properties found therein are said to be incorporated in religious …activities.

To be more eco friendly, his wood agreed to require 30% less water for optimum smoke output.

When at neighborhood BBQs, all the other grills/smokers/pits/spits, self-extinguish for 30sec. Out of respect.

His chimney starter recycles it’s own newspaper.

The ice in his cooler never melts.

The ionic particles of all meat magnetizes HIS rub to itself in a perfect uniform coating.

Moby Dick fought Nemo because he was waiting for HIS grill.

The soot from his smoke box leaves, as soon as HE’s done with the meat.

NASA has determined that HIS drip pan contents are essential to the future of tera-forming.

He would never waste beer by actually cooking with it, all of his creations BYOB.

HE is rumored to have a secret agreement with Baskin Robbins to never reveal his smoked ice cream to the rest of the world.

In the grocery store, the aluminum foil leaps into HIS cart.

His “ka-bobs” come pre-shisked! Fresh.

Once, a pepper from the far east was so hot it made him cry.

It immediately apologized.

He NEVER cries.

His aluminum foil always tears evenly and never rips. EVER. No, NEVER.

Entire “peoples” have carried just one coal from his fires, as a guide.

HE is the Most Interesting Grill Master in the WORLD!

“I may not always use propane, but when I do, I use only HD-5.”

“Smoke responsibly my friend.”

Burnt Offerings

His “coal-beds” have been left behind to warm villages through the winter. HE is The Most Interesting Grill master in the WORLD
If HE dropped a piece of meet from the grill, it would use bugs bunny “air-breaks” to stop it’s own fall.
HE NEVER drops meat from the grill.

All of his wood falls and stacks neatly by his grill. He never has to soak.

Burnt Offerings

The Most Interesting Grill Master in the World Dictionary lists “Chubrecabra” as “a side, or served as a salad”.

Pigs and goats have been known to resist leaving HIS fire pits.

The Most Interesting Grill master in the World

Chuck Norris carries wood for HIM.

He has never been seen directly. He is surrounded by a perfect smoke ring.

 His rotisserie REALLY is self-propelled

It NEVER rains over his grill. EVER.

He is the Most Interesting Grill master in the WORLD

His marinade mop leaves every drop on the meat, every time.

Burnt Offerings

HE is the Most Interesting Grill master in the WORLD

HE has push-button start for his charcoal.

When he approaches a grill, the briquettes self-ignite. He is the Most Interesting Grill Master inthe WORLD!

He once herded a stampede of wild Gnus into a volcanic rift and fed a local village for a year. Every oz. of meat had a perfect 1/4in. smoke ring.

His “poppers” never spill over/out.

He is the most Interesting Grill Master in the world!

The secret to my pony keg abs?

 Long, grilling exercise!

You can’t take shortcuts. Burnt Offerings

One Comment leave one →
  1. Ukant Havitt permalink
    12/04/2009 10:24 pm

    I et me somma dem ribs ofn thet grill. them’s some fine cookn they is…

    He IS the most interesting GrillMaster in the World

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